My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize