whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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