Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
