sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
