i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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