She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
