Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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