I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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