I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
