ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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