just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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