dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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