i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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