i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
