He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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