You're so nebulous sometimes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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