I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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