you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize