How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
