would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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