good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
