I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
