.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
