I'm going to jail i love you
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
This is the high leading the old right now
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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