Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
