Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
