as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
