your room smells of hookers.
And success
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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