it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
