you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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