Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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