Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How does one acquire holy water?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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