OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
