Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
