haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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