He told me they were just razor bumps!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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