no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
