she smelled like a LAN party
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
