Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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