Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize