so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
