He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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