Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
