I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize