I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
