im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
