so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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