sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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