I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
