You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
