well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
