He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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