in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
