dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
