yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
