my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
