If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
