I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
