i already hear my dad disowning me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
