You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
