You made me cry and you don't even care
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
