Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
